The INTERBUTTZ

Serious Business.

Sat, 10 May 2008 05:03:54 GMT

Today I was wondering if anyone truly cares about people's blogs.

Seriously, think about it. Why are you sitting here, reading this shit I'm posting? What's the deal? What is it that motivates us to scan our eyes across the screen, absorbing inane and usually annoying information people vomit out of their brains at 1:00 in the morning because they don't feel like sleeping?

Do we really care about how good the nap an individual had today? Why should I waste my valuable time reading about ham things when I could be out finding a cure for AIDS, actually talking to people, or doing a barrel roll.

Social blogs don't count, I'm just talking about "HURF DURF I JUST BOUGHT A SANDWICH AND IT WAS GOOD. K BYE." blogs. You know, those blogs.

So stop reading this. In the last 30 or so seconds, you could have done something incredible. I could be sleeping. You could have been saving the world from the Large Hadron Collider. Go out there and do something useful.

Wise words from W.K.

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 03:15:11 GMT

Oh Andrew W.K, you never fail to amaze us.

We can't stop here. This is bat country.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 04:04:59 GMT

So for the past hour and a half or so, I've been staring at this yearbook application hoping that my mind will vomit something onto the paper that will convince Mr. Noble to deem me worthy of the chosen few.

Even though he's already incredibly biased due to the fact that my sister has put in multiple good words for me in her four years of yearbooking and whatnot, I fear the worst.

My mind is officially corrupted.

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 05:38:32 GMT

So I was just sitting around in forth period, right? Then some kid started talking about how he was sick the day before. High temperature, throwing up, and just general unpleasantness. And he has a bandage on his hand.

Now anyone else would process this information as "Oh, he was sick yesterday, and he has an injury on his hand. No big deal." However, due to reasons I'm still not sure of, I started to panic. I knew what those were symptoms for. I knew what was going on there. I knew what was going on. My classmate had been infected by freaking zombies.

And for about two minutes I honestly had it set in my head that any minute now he would go unconcious, re-animate, and then attempt to feast on our flesh and turn us into one of the living dead. I thought that Z-day had finally come. That was that. We were going to die.

But after those two minutes, I realized "Wait...zombies aren't real."

I need to stop watching George A. Romero movies.

LiveJournal Is Serious Business.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:32:30 GMT

4 RLZ.

By the way, Master Chief doesn't die at the end of Halo 3. Every idiot is saying that because they didn't know that after the credits you see him and Cortana ALIVE.

A cry for help.

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 03:59:02 GMT

I need a karaoke version of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire.

Seriously.

The answer "lol go to limewire lolol" doesn't count, nor does "Google".

Sure, I could just buy a karaoke CD with that song on it, but A) it would still be hard to find and B) you know how when you see someone buying a karaoke CD and you think to yourself "Wow, what a complete jerkoff. He's buying a karaoke CD. I have an irresistible urge to kick him in the privates. And he's ugly. Those glasses are stupid. I don't like his voice. Just everything about this person just BLA BLA BLA" you get the point. I don't want to be in his shoes.

Anyway, ANY help at all would be appreciated. Kthnxbai.

If there's one thing I learned today

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 17:17:55 GMT

it's that janitors are good at giving directions.

The end.

What I did this Summer.

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:19:19 GMT

An essay by Walt Lilly, grade 3.

I DID THE FOLLOWING THIS SUMMER:

Purchased an Xbox 360.

Played the crap out of Gears of War.

Uploaded the final Walt-Cam and the first three Walt-O-Visions.

Wrote and started filming and editing WALT-CAM: THE MOVIE.

Kicked Brian in the head.

Planned to rape Myspace today, but never really got around to it.

Made 1 prank call.

Saw Spider-Man 3. I freaking loved it, but no one else did.

Saw Pirates 3. I loved the first 2 to death, but that one just sucked.

Saw Transformers. It was better than it should have been.

Saw The Simpsons Movie. It was funny.

Not read the new Harry Potter. Or the last one, for that matter.

Saw Eraserhead. I COULD NOT FRIGGIN SLEEP AFTER I SAW THAT. THAT WAS THE SCARIEST BABY EVER.

Witnessed a Xenomorph kill a man.

Played Bioshock.

Played Guitar Hero II.

Played RE4: Wii Edition.

And above all, I did nothing productive at all in the entire three months. Unless you count that Lord of the Flies thing, which I still haven't finished.

Lovingly, Walt.

THE TAILS DOLL IS GOING TO FREAKING KILL ME

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 01:36:31 GMT

The other day I was thinking about digging up some old, obscure video-games and I came across one of my favorite Sonic games: Sonic R. I played that bad boy for a good forty-five minutes, and then I got sick of trying to find all the coins on Radical City. I was surfing the web for a map of the course with all the coin locations pointed out, but I came across this.

http://quackerandbowen.com/sonicr.html

Basically, the Tails Doll is the freaking creepiest Sonic character ever. It's a lifesize, stuffed version of Sonic's adorable sidekick Tails.

Sure, this thing scares the everloving poop out of me, but this site claims that IT WANTS TO FREAKING KILL YOU AND WILL COME OUT OF THE TV AND KILL YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER LOVED.

I used to like Sonic R, until I found out that one of the characters is an alleged murderer. Sure, these people are obviously either joking or are complete superstitious morons but OH MEH GAWD HE'S GONNA KILL ME GRAAAHAHGGGHGHh!!!!

My favorite internet video of ALL TIME.

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 04:38:14 GMT

Welcome to Happy Haptacular World.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2099907103707038859

I WAS FIRST.

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 20:29:03 GMT

In about three hours, that video will have ten bajillion comments. I was first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mSKBgvHdoE

Do I just cut 'em up like regular chickens?

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:16:45 GMT

No one reads this, do they?

Firefox is out to get me.

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 04:24:33 GMT

So I come back from seeing Transformers today (which was awesome, but more on that later), fire up my computer, bring up Firefox, click on my bookmarks, AND HALF OF THEM ARE GONE. Huh? What? How does that happen? How does several of your bookmarks just go away? These weren't ones I added recently, these were just random bookmarks. I'm seriously confuddled by this. No one was home. What's going on? Did someone break into my house, steal nothing, and just delete a couple of my bookmarks? Eh, if I'm missing something here, please tell me.

My hair stinks of berries.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 06:33:13 GMT

I was out of shampoo today. So I used my sister's.

BUT I USED TO MUCH.

And now it stinks of berries. Seriously, I can smell it now. It's horrible.

Borat is pretty much hilarious.

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 02:50:57 GMT

If you don't mind naked. man-butts, offensive junk, and the like, then you should probably watch it.

If not, you should get a sense of humor.

Happy Berfday To me.

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 21:05:23 GMT

Even though it's MY birthday, I have a present for YOU.

Something I did today.

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 04:48:57 GMT

I kicked someone in the head.

It should also be noted that this person had been dumped by his girlfriend the night before.

I also didn't feel bad afterwards.

I would have felt bad if I didn't have a reason for kicking this skull. However, if you're putting lip gloss on someone when they're asleep, prepare to be kicked in the head.

By the way, I released the final Walt-Cam today and my birthday is on Monday. Buy me something.

I heart Guitar Hero 2.

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 03:31:19 GMT

I love this song something fierce.

Hats off to ya, Guitar Hero 2.

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 20:38:52 GMT

Thank you for being awesome, Guitar Hero 2. I've been playing this game for so long that I'm getting a little nauseous, but who cares? It's freaking Guitar Hero 2.

I'm going to spend the entire rest of the Summer sitting around in my pajamas, playing this game.

<3 Guitar Hero Duex

This is beyond epic.

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 02:30:08 GMT

You should watch this thing.

Tue, 29 May 2007 23:12:38 GMT

Watch this.

Mon, 21 May 2007 22:08:04 GMT

WALT-CAM! WALT-CAM! WALT-CAM!

The oldies.

Thu, 17 May 2007 02:31:43 GMT

As a last hurrah, I shall post some of the "classics" of my old blog to usher in this...new...blog. Prepare for some nostalgia.

I'm breaking these up into my top five favorite blogs I've written. I'm so awesome, even I know it.

NUMBUH FIVE:
Subject: Banjo's Sunday Menu
Blog:

NUMBUH 4:

Subject: Take your tan and shove it.
Blog: You know what really urinates me off? People with tans. No, not that...people who are obsessive about tans. Half the girls at my school sit in a tanning bed of death for hours on end, just cooking under those horrible fryers. What's the big deal? What makes tans so attractive?

NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Seriously. When all these idiots I'm forced to refer to as my "peers" get skin cancer and I just end up with regular cancer, I'll be laughing. They're idiots. Heck, I'm trying to get as pale as humanly possible by staying out of sunlight, just to stick it to the man. You'll all see...I'll show everyone...

NUMBUH 3:

Subject: I have created a new curse word.
Blog: Panlind.

Don't say it in front of the kids, you panlinds.

NUMBUH 2:

Subject: Buy my product.
Blog: When I get comments like "Hello Wlater how is it goin ttul have fun playin ur wii", I begin to worry for the sanity of the internet. Have we really gotten so lazy that we don't feel like moving our finger one fourth of an inch and holding down the shift key just for a split second? Yes, it seems we have. I refuse to accept this fate, so I brainstormed with a purple-headed acquantance, and have designed a keyboard that will destroy these effing retards once and for all.

The keyboard does not have numbers or symbols beyond commas and periods and such, this is a very simple keyboard. You just have your 26 characters and the necessities. So, what's all this extra space for? SHIFT KEYS. Lots and lots of shift keys. The more shift keys there are, the less idiots. Not even a caps lock, just shift keys. Plus, there's extra features:

-Push a button and it glows like Tron!

-Push a different button and your mind and body fuse to the computer, turning you into a hideous throbbing hybrid of technology and organs (sort of like in Videodrome).

-Shift keys!

It shall retail for $79.99. Hitting store shelves this Summer. Buy it and make me rich.

NUMBUH 1:

Subject: Actually, I'm severely mentally handicapped.
Blog: The following conversation happened right before P.E. yesterday. I did not change anything at all. Whitney actually believed this crap.

Whitney: HEY WALT.
I: Eh?
Whitney: (I can't remember exactly what she said, it was something like this.) Uhm...are you mental or something? You act kind of odd sometimes.

She was dead serious. I realized that I was never going to get a chance like this again, so I took full advantage of it.

I: Actually, I don't tell a lot of people this, but I'm actually severely mentally handicapped.
Whitney: Oh...
I: I have a very rare condition called RHS. Redundant Height Syndrome. I'm fairly tall, about six feet, but this condition causes me to believe that I'm five feet tall.
Whitney: I'm sorry to hear that.
I: Yeah, it really messes with me sometimes. I have to have counseling to deal with the depression.

We stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, and we walked off. She seriously believed me.

It's stuff like this that makes me lose faith in the intelligence of the human race.

It's like a trip down memory lane, isn't it?

Macros are the cure for cancer.

Tue, 15 May 2007 01:06:22 GMT

It hath begun.

Tue, 15 May 2007 00:24:40 GMT

Do you like blogs?

Me neither.